Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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