ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We talked him into tasing himself.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
