My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
