I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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