I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
