lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
