Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
