I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
