Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
