A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
