Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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