STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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