yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
