I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
