id be glad to
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
