They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
