YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
