Slut skills are useful in every country.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
