pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
