fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
