I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
from now on my penis is your penis
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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