Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
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