At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
