You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
