It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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