The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
