Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
