IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize