I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
