Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
