I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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