if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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