Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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