I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
