man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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