Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
