Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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