I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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