New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
