u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
