people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
