I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
