You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
