They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Is it penis luge time yet?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
