woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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