Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
