My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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