I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
