Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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