How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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