his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
