i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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