I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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