i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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