he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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