When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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