Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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