Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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